I hate my life, let me be clearer I hate my fat life not my “phat” (pretty hot and tempting), but FAT as in the majority of America, super sizing every meal, can’t fit in a size 12( hell that would be good enough for me). Okay enough of that I hate my fat life,<insert high school skinny me>. It seems that the cliche is true and that fat people aren’t happy, let me be more general this fat person isn’t. If you take away the extra inches around my tummy, my stupid thighs rubbing together and my fat pimply, dimply dairy-air and I would like to think the day to day obstacles wouldn’t be so troubling. I love my husband, I love my children and I believe I have such a wonderful set of family members that if something hit the fan they would be there in a heartbeat. So the question I keep asking myself is why do I care so much about being fat, in all actuality seeing that I am going to be honest since this is MY journal I am 213lbs…216….218 okay dammit I’m 220, 220, 200 and 20 fucking pounds, 5’10 and my doctor says I am obese. WTF. WTF and goddamn another WTF. So on the advice of myself “girl you need to get it together,” I found a program for $55 bucks that is suppose to help me get fit, it’s called 585 Crossfit Brazilian Jiu-jitsu. Fancy name for kicking my ass! So the first day they time how long it takes you to get through the workout of the day and may I say I was fan-freakin-tastic……I’m lying I was beat by a sixty year old couple, okay I don’t know that they were sixty but they certainly weren’t 28ish and they beat me BAAAADDDD, my time was 11:30something and they were 8/9something. So what did I learn the first day you may ask? I have a body of an 80 year old smoker who lost her hip sometime during the war. I am pissed off and I am determined but where do I start, if you go to a nutrition store they’re trying to sell you everything under their pants and then some “happy ending anyone,” no freakin thank you nutrition freak! You speak to a weight loss guru and they wanna take away ALL of your Twinkies. Don’t get me wrong I know I have to “sacrifice” something but I know me and if I can’t have anything I am staying obese goddammit. Now that my rant is semi-over I can stop my jumping around and try and make some sense of all the thoughts running through my brain cells.
I believe I am going to start from the beginning..........,
